All Things Simmons
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History of the thread
The official character thread for Simmons, originally created by roneman90. The thread used to suffer from serious cases of inactivity. It usually took a good two weeks to a month to move a page. In a desperate attempt to raise activity for the thread, user MichyGeary decided to host a 100 mod contest that would award whomever were to post first on the 100th page of the ATS by the end of 2006. Many users, wanting to win the 100 mods, decided to join the Simmons thread. During the rise to the 100th page, user gosimmons put forth the idea of a fan group for Simmons (as Sarge fans have the S.A.R.G.E., Grif fans have the Nation of G, and Church fans have the Church of Church). The members of the ATS worked together to come up with an acronym and a concept. Thus the S.I.M.M.O.N.S. was born. When the 100 mod contest was over (the winner was user Red_Uncle), the participants in the contest stuck around to share the love of Simmons.
In quickly picking up new members and growing in activity, the thread soon became too popular for its own good. On page 1093, the ATS thread quite literally broke the internet, being only the second known thread to reach the theoretical maximum, the first being the Stargate Thread. A coding error of the forum resulted in no further page numbers displaying. Desperate to save their precious thread, the members of the ATS begged Gus to fix the problem. He refused and told them to merely make a new thread. The members of the ATS decided that MichyGeary should be the one to make the new thread. It was also decided that, to give the veterans a chance to be heard on the first page, everyone would type up their post for the new Simmons thread and post only once on the first page of the new thread. Being the Simmons fanboi that he is, DiMono jumped the gun and made a new thread for the ATS without consulting the other members of the ATS. After a few hours of chaos and drama, DiMono locked his own thread and reopened the old ATS thread until the new ATS thread was ready for post. The original All Things Simmons Thread, despite false page links, is in fact 1137 pages long. The All Things Simmons 2.0 thread was also soon maxed out, and extended to Page 1106. A new Simmons thread called All Things Simmons: Upgrade has been created.
Frequent Occurances
The ATS is mostly notorious for several elements. It's mainly known for its intense level of activity. Members of the ATS could be absent from the site for 12 hours and miss out on a good three-hundred or more posts (though not all posts usually involve Simmons). The thread is able to move 100 pages in just under ten days. Another feature of the ATS is its huge base of frequent users. Members from all walks of life meet on the ATS to share their love of Simmons and Red vs. Blue. Another unique element of the ATS is its degree of sex talk. Users are constantly exclaiming "Secksimmons!" and discussing sexual endeavors with Simmons or other members of the ATS. A common, but not conclusive, opinion in the ATS is the fact that Simmons and Grif are romantically (or just carnally) involved.
Simmons Fangrrls
The category of "Simmons fangrrls" is very inclusive. Basically, anyone who would sex Simmons is a Simmons fangrrl. Initiation into the Simmons fangrrls is usually marked by a "fangrrl orgy" in which all fangrrls glomp and sex the new member.
Gus's Birthday Project
The members of the ATS decided to take up the project of putting together a birthday gift for Gus on his 30th birthday. Planning was underway in the secret confines of the very public ATS thread and through various personal messages and cryptic journals. Ideas were tossed around for a few months before the members decided on three parts to the gift: custom M&Ms, happy birthday signs, and a custom made one-of-a-kind ATS original T-Shirt.
The Custom M&Ms
The M&Ms were created in the closest thing the Mars company had to maroon with the slogans "Cake > Pie" and "For the Horde." The gift came with four 7 oz. bags of the custom M&Ms and a cuddly wuddly bear. This part of the gift was quite pricey, however, and required the combined efforts of many devoted ATS folks to make the expense as light as possible.
The Birthday Signs
At first, the contributors planned to send all their pictures to MichyGeary to put with the gift. However, when it came time to mail off the gift, none had come in yet. The ATS kids decided to put electronic copies of all the pictures on a CD instead, with plans to make the corresponding pictures avatars on the day of Gus's birthday. More users contributed pictures after the gift was sent off, as a belated yet equally appreciated gesture.
The Custom T-Shirt
The T-Shirt concept was established by sithhead2, and the artwork was carried out by the beautifully talented cunfuzzled. MichyGeary put the design to production and had one ordered for the gift. There is currently only one of these shirts in existance, but you may now purchase one for yourself.
The Recognition
The project came off as a complete success. The package arrived exactly on February 22, 2008 to await Gus when he arrived at work that morning. He was so moved by the gesture that he awarded the users involved and put up a journal thanking the ATS for their thoughtfulness. The journal also contains pictures of Gus with the gifts, trying to protect them against greedy hands. Gus also made an appearance in the ATS thread to thank the members again for the gift.
ATS Merchandise
Designed by Michy and owned by ChurchesWife, Degenerate89, K1L3rman, HurriHam, Shaoblane, kalvaza and hobbitboy.
"All Things Simmons" Shirts, Centered Logo
"All Things Simmons" Shirts, Pocket Logo
The S.I.M.M.O.N.S.
The official fan group for Simmons, stands for "Sycophantic Individuals Making More Online Non Sense." The purpose of the group is to fascilitate activity in the All Things Simmons thread and show affection and support for the character. The concept for the group was established December 07, 2006. The idea for the name was the result of the combined efforts of Degenerate89 and AKLOTAM.
Hierarchy of the S.I.M.M.O.N.S.
The Social Chairman
This person runs S.I.M.M.O.N.S. He/she serves a term for three months when the term expires. At this point, the Board of Socialists must vote on a new Social Chairman. (SCs are elected by a 51% majority vote, or at least four votes.) No SC may run immediately again after the term has expired, but he/she can go for re-election after another chairman's term has ended. The SC elects the Board of Socialists entirely.
Current Board of Socialists
- Woo_HA27
- Degenerate89
- Michygeary
- Crunchjaw
- MrSquigles
- Kalvaza
- JohnBoyle
The Board of Socialists
The Board of Socialists are the seasoned vets of S.I.M.M.O.N.S. They are in charge of voting Deciphels into the S.I.M.M.O.N.S. as well as electing the new Social Chairman at the end of each term. All future Board Members are approved only by the Social Chairman. A Board of Socialist's term is life-bound, meaning no actions done on the part of a member may overthrow his/her seat for the three-month term (until a new SC is established and a new Board is elected). Board members are required to put the SIMMONSboard account on watch to vote on important journals.
The Deciphels
The new or average member of S.I.M.M.O.N.S. To be voted in as a Deciphel, users must apply by answering an essay question. The user's entry will be voted on by the Board of Socialists. Votes take place when three new applications are in. If enough time goes by and there are less than three applications, a vote will go through regardless. All Deciphel Members may also be booted off the group due to insubordination or inactivity. The members under watch for such actions can only be booted if the Board of Socialists agree on a two-thirds Majority vote. There are five levels of Deciphel. A Deciphel can be promoted or demoted based on attitude and level of activity in the Simmons thread.
Acting Sergeant
The Acting Sergeant is the highest level of Deciphel. These members are known as vets to the thread and always exhibit exemplary behavior in the thread. They propose provocative topic conversations and steer off-topic conversations back to focus. They welcome new members but treat crunchies with the appropriate level of disdain.
Science Officer
The Science Officer is the second highest level of Deciphel. These members adhere to the rules of the ATS and are good about staying on topic.
Gunner
The Gunner is the middle-most level of Deciphel. These people are frequent contributors to the ATS and usually try to keep the conversations on topic.
Mechanic
The Mechanic is the second lowest level of Deciphel. Typically, if a Rookie is promoted for commendable behavior, they will be made Mechanic.
Rookie
The Rookie is the lowest level of Deciphel. All users accepted to the S.I.M.M.O.N.S. automatically begin at Rookie status. Users demoted at this level would be removed from the Deciphels entirely.
Members of the S.I.M.M.O.N.S.
Below is a list of the regular and/or veteran members of the All Things Simmons thread. You will find each user's rank in the S.I.M.M.O.N.S. by his/her name.
- Social Chairman – Kalvaza
- Board Member – Degenerate89
- Board Member – JohnBoyle
- Board Member – Woo_HA27
- Board Member – MrSquigles
- Board Member – MichyGeary
- Board Member – Crunchjaw
- Acting Sergeant – WaydeUltima
- Science Officer - ChurchesWife
- Science Officer - Red_Uncle
- Science Officer - TrixR4Kids
- Science Officer – Shaoblane
- Science Officer - K1L34rman
- Gunner – Cunfuzzled
- Gunner – Dougss
- Gunner – Megafire
- Mechanic – DocRossim
- Mechanic – ptath
- Mechanic – Wild72
- Mechanic - Fhajad
- Mechanic - darkpapo1
- Mechanic - hobbitboy
- Rookie - speechie42
- Rookie - jessiepup260
- Rookie - silentucker
- Rookie - Khalahd
- Rookie – Islandkitty
- Rookie – Dshisnit0968
